Great post! It sounds so silly but it took me a lot of years to realize that my complete lack of success with women was not because of my height or race, but because I was not talking to them at all. If I did, I made no moves. It was following your work that helped me feel better about myself and take more action because I no longer believed I was a bad partner.
I would love to see a post on physique. I wonder if an unspoken idea behind a lot of the angst behind people who subscribe to black pill and related ideologies is that they're just not able (in their current state) to get the hot girls to like them. So then the comforting truth that there is likely someone who matches them (as a lower quality mate) who might like them exists out there backfires because it's either hot girl or no girl in their eyes.
I think physique would be interesting an interesting subject to read your take on because I recently started to lose body fat. I had a lot of muscle prior from years of intentionally bulking and really high body fat. I've always been a nice person, pretty good personality traits, had a job making six figures, socialized a lot, lots of friends, but I recently lost my wizard status and got laid after shedding about 12 pounds of bodyfat. And the attention from really attractive women has increased significantly with this being the only change I've really made.
I was delayed in losing my virginity for many reasons but a big one was that I used to get attention from really cute girls in school when I was skinny so I always thought I could get those girls. Then I got chubby but muscular, and improved all other facets of my life, but I could never seem to get the attention of the women I liked again until I started getting leaner (and much better groomed). Now that I'm leaner I feel like I have so much more attention from the women I desire and I do wonder if that mismatch between what someone thinks they should be getting combined with a neurotic/perfectionist outlook creates a believer in the black pill.
The blackpill is true, though. Women do go off of looks. Why does it matter if you're not talking to these women?
How exactly would Nuancepill's work help you? For me, if anything, it kind of made me feel more worthless as I felt I'll never be physically attractive/tall enough for women. So I'm curious as to why you think it helped.
What a banger. I would humbly suggest you end the series here, since I don’t think an IRB would approve a study that tries to measure showering frequency 💀
I'd call it interpersonal aggressional signal than extroversion - average autistic male can try being extroverted on paper all he wants but it's not going to produce result anything close to normies, the reason some part of looks like height tracks well is because they are proxy for aggressional signal.
Lots to look into for days here though. Thanks for sharing, will have to recheck in the morning.
That is a weird take. You can be extroverted, charming, and funny (which the vast majority of folks on the spectrum can't do/fake to save their life) without being aggressive in any way.
I went out in Essex (UK) last night and there was a guy in our group (around 31) who says that he never approaches women as he feels it will always be a rejection (not attractive enough) and so waits for women to either approach him or just does online dating. He says that approaching women always looks desperate and that women don't want men to do it. He believes it's all looks.
I do think the idea that nervous guys latch onto that they can never ever ever even give an idea to someone that they might be desperate has stopped more success than actually being desperate ever has. I think it's better to learn to deal with your desperation and risk coming across that way than pretending to play it cool and never talking to anyone.
A female friend of mine told me a guy that used to hit on her and her friends constantly (i'm talking like chased this girl down for her number and then sent tons of texts/calls) and she was creeped out by him but then months later saw that he had a baby. Not that this guy is anything to model but if desperation propels someone into action that's much better than being afraid of talking to women at all.
Tbf if you need to approach women, then you look desperate and a bit of a loser in their view. If she's attracted to you then you don't need to approach.
That's not even a little bit true. I was wondering how someone could make a statement like this and then I realized you make comments on every post about how "horrible" it is for a guy to make the first move. Given your fear of making the first move it makes sense you don't know that women don't think that at all and many women despite being attracted will wait for the guy to make the move first.
No, they won't. EVERY woman I've been with has made it incredibly easy to sleep with them and I've never had to approach. Women don't want men to approach them.
If I have to approach them all it does is boost her ego and it's a guaranteed rejection. Why should I be some creep and approach her? Approaching is high effort no reward.
Making the first move is a good idea if you want to be arrested, though. I'll give you that. So if that's your goal then go ahead.
As has been established, personality and confidence don't mean anything.
Why should I approach when it's guaranteed to end badly and nothing good will come of it?
Based on multiple statements in that comment alone, I’m having a hard time believing you’ve ever talked to a woman, or even read articles on this site. Hope you can get help with your cognitive distortions.
Eh. You can't change your genes but you still have a lot of agency. Genetically some folks become fat more easily than others, but that doesn't mean they are predestined to be fat
“Risk-taking and substance use were negatively associated.”
Me ripping a cig on the bike at every red light to increase my random bj odds
Great post! It sounds so silly but it took me a lot of years to realize that my complete lack of success with women was not because of my height or race, but because I was not talking to them at all. If I did, I made no moves. It was following your work that helped me feel better about myself and take more action because I no longer believed I was a bad partner.
I would love to see a post on physique. I wonder if an unspoken idea behind a lot of the angst behind people who subscribe to black pill and related ideologies is that they're just not able (in their current state) to get the hot girls to like them. So then the comforting truth that there is likely someone who matches them (as a lower quality mate) who might like them exists out there backfires because it's either hot girl or no girl in their eyes.
I think physique would be interesting an interesting subject to read your take on because I recently started to lose body fat. I had a lot of muscle prior from years of intentionally bulking and really high body fat. I've always been a nice person, pretty good personality traits, had a job making six figures, socialized a lot, lots of friends, but I recently lost my wizard status and got laid after shedding about 12 pounds of bodyfat. And the attention from really attractive women has increased significantly with this being the only change I've really made.
I was delayed in losing my virginity for many reasons but a big one was that I used to get attention from really cute girls in school when I was skinny so I always thought I could get those girls. Then I got chubby but muscular, and improved all other facets of my life, but I could never seem to get the attention of the women I liked again until I started getting leaner (and much better groomed). Now that I'm leaner I feel like I have so much more attention from the women I desire and I do wonder if that mismatch between what someone thinks they should be getting combined with a neurotic/perfectionist outlook creates a believer in the black pill.
The blackpill is true, though. Women do go off of looks. Why does it matter if you're not talking to these women?
How exactly would Nuancepill's work help you? For me, if anything, it kind of made me feel more worthless as I felt I'll never be physically attractive/tall enough for women. So I'm curious as to why you think it helped.
If you need to talk to them, then you've lost. Confidence doesn't matter and women don't want men approaching them.
What a banger. I would humbly suggest you end the series here, since I don’t think an IRB would approve a study that tries to measure showering frequency 💀
Nuance Is Fake And Gay. There is only Eternal Misery.
I'd call it interpersonal aggressional signal than extroversion - average autistic male can try being extroverted on paper all he wants but it's not going to produce result anything close to normies, the reason some part of looks like height tracks well is because they are proxy for aggressional signal.
Lots to look into for days here though. Thanks for sharing, will have to recheck in the morning.
That is a weird take. You can be extroverted, charming, and funny (which the vast majority of folks on the spectrum can't do/fake to save their life) without being aggressive in any way.
I went out in Essex (UK) last night and there was a guy in our group (around 31) who says that he never approaches women as he feels it will always be a rejection (not attractive enough) and so waits for women to either approach him or just does online dating. He says that approaching women always looks desperate and that women don't want men to do it. He believes it's all looks.
It was quite an interesting thing to hear.
I do think the idea that nervous guys latch onto that they can never ever ever even give an idea to someone that they might be desperate has stopped more success than actually being desperate ever has. I think it's better to learn to deal with your desperation and risk coming across that way than pretending to play it cool and never talking to anyone.
A female friend of mine told me a guy that used to hit on her and her friends constantly (i'm talking like chased this girl down for her number and then sent tons of texts/calls) and she was creeped out by him but then months later saw that he had a baby. Not that this guy is anything to model but if desperation propels someone into action that's much better than being afraid of talking to women at all.
All you've demonstrated is that you don't know what you're talking about. Approaching women is desperate and never works
Tbf if you need to approach women, then you look desperate and a bit of a loser in their view. If she's attracted to you then you don't need to approach.
That's not even a little bit true. I was wondering how someone could make a statement like this and then I realized you make comments on every post about how "horrible" it is for a guy to make the first move. Given your fear of making the first move it makes sense you don't know that women don't think that at all and many women despite being attracted will wait for the guy to make the move first.
No, they won't. EVERY woman I've been with has made it incredibly easy to sleep with them and I've never had to approach. Women don't want men to approach them.
If I have to approach them all it does is boost her ego and it's a guaranteed rejection. Why should I be some creep and approach her? Approaching is high effort no reward.
Making the first move is a good idea if you want to be arrested, though. I'll give you that. So if that's your goal then go ahead.
As has been established, personality and confidence don't mean anything.
Why should I approach when it's guaranteed to end badly and nothing good will come of it?
Based on multiple statements in that comment alone, I’m having a hard time believing you’ve ever talked to a woman, or even read articles on this site. Hope you can get help with your cognitive distortions.
Neither you or Thenuancepill are very clued up on what women want in men or what they think. It shows.
Probably met more than you have. Keep on being a creep and harassing women which is what they hate.
So what exactly do women want with men approaching them? To boost their egos?
You still haven't given a single reason why men should approach.
If you need to approach, she's not attracted to you. You don't know anything. Women fo after the men they want.
You're clearly a guy with little experience and in fact offers harmful advice. Approaching is desperate and women see you as a desperate creep.
In conclusion, putting yourself out there is a useless endeavour for a man
You just had ro have been born better. How can I become less shy and introverted? Does anyone know some resources or have some tips please?
Eh. You can't change your genes but you still have a lot of agency. Genetically some folks become fat more easily than others, but that doesn't mean they are predestined to be fat
BTW, anti-anxiety meds exist.